What are you = human … who are you = yourself .. how are you = how you choose to be(have)
Just to provide you a synthesis technique … We learned by now that we interpret everything we hear/see and together with the consequential assumptions we feel accordingly what we believe is true. Together with this comes the fact that we as human beings are in constant interaction with each other. Since behaviour is a choice and B follows A you can direct your (re)actions and to some extent the (re)actions of someone else. Knowing how you like to behave and how others behave to you you can use the ABABAB… structure to your advantage … so that the reactions to your actions are favorable.
Now comes the new part.
According to most sociological theorems we all play multiple roles … all with a different set of behavioural patters. You have the role of a father/mother, a son/daughter, a student/teacher, a collegue/boss, … but these are just basic roles. In fact for every situation you can have a different (most) appropriate set.
If you apply all the techniques I tried to clear out for you you will slide through the social jungle we all know as our messed up society.