The trivial pursuit of happiness

I can’t help it.

Surrounded by “leaders” we are the jist of life. What/who are these self proclaimed shepards (for example: shrouded thoughts/ simplified perceptions/ surreal ideals/ autoritarian autority figures/ false profets/ egocentric heroes/ theological pilars of strength/ … ) to tell us what to do and what not? Their hierarchy is being stipulated as a paradigm. We consider it as being the way it should be while in fact it is an ancient form of crowd control.

Self proclaimed shepards tend to manage a hord to ensure their comfortable position.

Does this sound wrong to you? Are you one of the lucky few? Are you in control of the course your life follows?

To all the others I state my wonder. How do you feel about this? Would you fall apart without or would you get addicted to the sense of freedom? Do not take me the wrong way. The subject of this little contemplation is FREEDOM. To me it is a binary concept. You either are or you are not.

I doubt that we have it.


Some kind of milestone

I’ ve come to a point in my life where I’m fed up with all the negativity floating all around our world. The past has been analyzed. Lessons are learned. Conclusions have been drawn.

I believe in philanthropy. We are without any doubt all capable of taking care of each other, on a macroscopic scale ofcourse. Individual deviation  can in extremis obstruct the necessary level of consciousness needed to bond with fellow souls.

I have to ofcourse. I’m among many things a student Bachelor in Social Work.

The lion is king no more

The sharks have taken over.


I know I’m not good with structure. I’m just gonna say what’s on my mind and heart.

I don’t know how to deal with life. It’s such a pile of incoherent thoughts. Feelings get dragged downwards. Perspectives are futile. Billions of people wonder off to what, to do what, to achieve what ? Wouldn’t it be better if we all collectively jump of a bridge ? Aren’t we in a way already doing so ?

Somehow it feels like we lost touch. We lost touch with our common ground. Things that bind us have been thrown, drowned,  have been traded for seperation, for disconfiguration. Is it a byproduct of our individualistic society ? I just read that the Middle East is as schizo as our precious West. All we need is a push. The funny thing is: We’re willingly walking to the same finish line.

Loss of identity in times where it’s supposed to be stable.

Aunt May is so naive !!!

‘ There’s  a hero in all of us’

Don’t make me laugh. The truth lies closer towards the opposite.

Don’t go extreme on my behalf. But you must admit that we’re talking about an extreme construct here. Someone so pure and rightious, who wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice him/her self  to save a fellow soul. One whose actions alone make your eyes ready for tear-like conditions.

No no Aunt May. There’s only a hero in some of us.

It’s the most meaningless time of the year you mean !

Allow me to kick through the door by saying: I hate Christmas.

You know why … because it is a lie … as big and fat and stuffed as it’s traditional turkey.

I want to share my most “beautiful” Christmas eve tale.

I was sixteen years old. My parents were in the prime of their divorce. For the occasion mentioned above my dad took me to a restaurant in Mechelen.

While I had spare ribs, one of my favorite dishes btw, at La flèche, my mom spend the evening with the sister of an ex-colleague who was a professional highway trucker whore … whose boyfriend … by the way … wasn’t aware of his girlfriend’s occupation. They had stone grilled meat, where you put pieces of meat on a hot stone plate … had some wine … made it quite a cosy evening I suppose.

All went quite well until my father had the “luminous” idea to pay my mother and her companions a visit. He knew where they were since he once (or more, I don’t know, I can only deduce ‘at least one time’)  followed them to the whore’s place.

There I was … on Christmas eve … in a god forsaken place with a slightly drunken parent next to me.

He “asked” me to knock on the door and go inside. I instantly understood what kind of a shock it would procreate to the peeps whose home I was about to enter.

There I was … a sixteen year old … frightened as hell … about to transmit a terrible message to the one who gave birth to him.

I came in … they saw me … we trembled at the implications of my presence … I got shown the way out … I re-entered the car … in tears I asked never to expect from me to prove myself ever again.

Later that night I learned for the first time what it means to cry yourself to sleep.

But hey … it was ‘the most wonderful time of the year’ right ?

Don’t run … don’t hide … and certainly don’t shove it under the mat

A lot of the psychological processes that spontaneously happen can be managed … can be manipulated.

How is it that appreciation is formed?

We are born with certain basic preferences, but during the course of our individual lives we develop different positions towards something or someone. Good and bad … pleasant and unpleasant … and every now and then we assume the intermediate possish.

So far so good. We let the internal control centers play their judgmental part … which goes quite effortless.

Now … it isn’t that hard to imagine a situation where your appreciation (or lack thereof) makes the emotional experience of that situation a twitch in your personal happiness.

There are a few things you can do to cope with this.

Most of the time we complain about the object/subject of our discontent.

I find that a destructive way to look at it. A complaint is always something negative. On top of that you project the negativity on yourself as well as towards the concerning object/subject. It’s pretty safe to say that negativity is negative and we like positivity because it’s positive.

Lets go back to the beginning.

We, as human beings, are capable in redirecting and even reforming the negativity coming from our negative assessment of a certain situation or person … through the process of confrontation -> acceptance -> appreciation.

The more you get in the same position, under similar conditions, the more you learn to accept not only the state you’re in, but also to understand the side effects that accompany that state. It takes more effort to endure the circumstances … but this is a bare necessity … unless you are blessed with the immediate understanding of your encounters.

I’m not saying you have to embrace everything bad that happens in your life. It speaks for itself that you have the right to turn a wrong into something more acceptable.  It’s just that a lot of your daily frustrations can be overcome by a simple adjustment of the perspective you put the occurred fact in.

In the end it all depends on how much you cling on to your initial attitude towards the object/subject in question.

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