A lot of the psychological processes that spontaneously happen can be managed … can be manipulated.
How is it that appreciation is formed?
We are born with certain basic preferences, but during the course of our individual lives we develop different positions towards something or someone. Good and bad … pleasant and unpleasant … and every now and then we assume the intermediate possish.
So far so good. We let the internal control centers play their judgmental part … which goes quite effortless.
Now … it isn’t that hard to imagine a situation where your appreciation (or lack thereof) makes the emotional experience of that situation a twitch in your personal happiness.
There are a few things you can do to cope with this.
Most of the time we complain about the object/subject of our discontent.
I find that a destructive way to look at it. A complaint is always something negative. On top of that you project the negativity on yourself as well as towards the concerning object/subject. It’s pretty safe to say that negativity is negative and we like positivity because it’s positive.
Lets go back to the beginning.
We, as human beings, are capable in redirecting and even reforming the negativity coming from our negative assessment of a certain situation or person … through the process of confrontation -> acceptance -> appreciation.
The more you get in the same position, under similar conditions, the more you learn to accept not only the state you’re in, but also to understand the side effects that accompany that state. It takes more effort to endure the circumstances … but this is a bare necessity … unless you are blessed with the immediate understanding of your encounters.
I’m not saying you have to embrace everything bad that happens in your life. It speaks for itself that you have the right to turn a wrong into something more acceptable. It’s just that a lot of your daily frustrations can be overcome by a simple adjustment of the perspective you put the occurred fact in.
In the end it all depends on how much you cling on to your initial attitude towards the object/subject in question.